Goodbye to Boom Beach

I can count on 1.2 hands the number of video games I've been truly invested in: Super Mario Brothers (8-bit Nintendo), Bubble Bobble (8-bit Nintendo), Revenge of the Gator (Game Boy), Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (8-bit Nintendo), Tiger Woods Golf (X-Box 360) and Boom Beach (iOS/Android).

As kiddos, Hollie, Matthew and I spent hours and hours and hours playing those early Nintendo games. While Ali and I were dating, Tiger Woods Golf was a common method for determining who was right. And during recent years, Boom Beach has been my video game of choice. That, however, is about to change. It's hard to imagine but I started playing Boom Beach over 5 years ago and it's time to let it go.

Dear BB,

We had a good run but it's time to face facts and embrace the current reality that I'm just not that into you. I'm tired of the same monotony day-in and day-out. Sure, it was fun taking all of those resources from Dr. T and the other players. But once I upgraded all of my offense and defense, things started to fall...flat. Mega Crab is still cool but the Task Forces, Tribes and Warships aren't doing it for me.

We made a few memories. Remember the time I accused you of miscalculating my resources? And the Support team responded so promptly and with total professionalism. I was SO embarrassed...

Listen, it's not like I was just playing all of the free stuff. I bought diamonds from you - even Wifey bought diamonds from you! This is ridiculous. It's you. It's not me.

So long, BB! Despite being a HQ 65 who's maxed in every other way possible...I'll keep that one sniper tower at level 1 just for ol' times sake.

-Commander

P.S. I disabled the music and sound effects the first time I played.

Safe Secrets at Christmas

One of many blessings I've received since matriculating into parenthood are new perspectives, including the ability to see experiences, perhaps a second time, through my parents eyes.

In my formative years, Christmas was a time of joy, love, celebration and family. To the later point, a time that pitted father against sons in the eternal battle of keeping presents a secret until they were intended to be opened. I reflect upon the Rollerblade Christmas fondly - it was brilliant really. The only way into our attic was through the access door in my closet! It blew our minds at the time; the clever ol' man essentially hid the presents behind enemy lines. I can still remember the feeling of raising my head into the attic for the first time, fixing the flashlight on never-there-before boxes and looking through the packaging at a new pair of "blades" with black, purple and green laces. We must've pulled ourselves into the attic 25 times during the buildup to Christmas.

Another year, I think it was my TV year, the presents were nowhere to found. We checked Mom & Dad's shower, the trunks of their cars and the attic. Nothing! As Christmas approached, fate shined upon us. There was a shimmer coming from whence a black handle had been previously unremarkable. It didn't make any sense to us, why had a new padlock been installed on the shed? In truth, it didn't matter. The game was on. We couldn't find the key or pick the lock so we did the next most rational thing. We took the double doors (which never functioned properly again) off the hinges and walked right in.

And so it continued. Year after year. Some years we'd win by unearthing the mother load. Other years tilted in Dad's favor.

Then THE Christmas happened. No one quite knows where the idea came from but it was the ultimate in Dad-strategy. Perhaps he became weary of doors no longer working or attic insulation collecting on the closet floor. The one thing we know for sure is he changed the game and forever quelled the Christmas hunt. See, by piling the gifts in the middle of the basement and (sorta) covering them with a (sorta transparent) sheet, he altered the entire dynamic. No longer was it an annual high-stakes winner-takes-all game of Hide & Seek.

What Dad knew was that the prize (finding the gifts) was equally proportionate to the amount of effort required. In what could be described as an escalating arms race, he just decided to drive the amount of effort required to find the gifts down to zero. And in so doing, the prize had no value. Sure enough, we were surprised that Christmas.

Now, in 2018, I have to smile because in my home office is a pile of gifts...covered with blanket.

If experience has taught me anything, I am 100% sure the secret is safe.

That's Enough Sleep for One Night

When I was growing up, we'd spend holidays with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Thanksgiving's were mostly spent at Mom's parents house in Towson. Children and grandchildren descended and temporarily forgot that they didn't own the place.

It was fun. We played marker tag and made cookies. Grammy and Grandad lived in the house at the corner of Cottage Lane and the back alley which meant they had a larger back yard than most. We'd play any- and everything in that yard: soccer, basketball, football, badminton, golf, etc. And the tire swing was a popular attraction.

I remember that (accidentally) sending a ball over the fence into the neighbors yard was avoided at all costs. Can't remember why though. I bet more than one tennis ball was lost forever on account of a grandchild's fear of the neighborly unknown.

If you stood on the back porch, you could pull seeds off of the tree and wing 'em at your siblings down below. Of course, if you were down on the ground level, you could sneak through the basement, up the stairs and into the kitchen to lock the Winger outside on the porch.

Grandad was a late-riser. In his defense, he was probably a normal-riser. ...children wake up early just to mess with parents (and grandparents).

If it was your turn, Grammy handed you a googly-eyed-fuzzy-pencil-looking-thing and asked you to go wake Grandad. There was only correct way to wake Grandad; twist the hair into a tight swirl, sneak-up on the unsuspecting fella and shove the hair twist right up his nostril (then duck any reflexes that may have been triggered).

I couldn't believe my eyes when I was clicking around the web yesterday and found this (the one on the left): the googly-eyed-fuzzy-pencil-looking-thing! The only difference is that ours was a yellow pencil with green hair. Wild.

Turns out that every generation enjoys waking someone from a sound sleep...

June 15, 1988

 Today I am going to Assoteacke. My dad is thinking about buying a horse. I will either sleep in a mommy bag or else sleep in a cot. Either one I will have to sleep out-side. We will probley go fishing on the bay sidee.

June 13, 1988

 On Sat we had our soccer game. ofcorse we won. We havn't lost one game yet. We had either tied or else we won. Also on Sat. I had to go to time triles and a picnic. The score at the soccer game was three, zip.

June 10, 1988

 Yesterday me and my brother played deep dark pit. It was very fun. I started it. I pulled down my brothers matchris and used it for a slipperey rock. If we didn't go down the rock we were safe. Then we started fighting. All my brother did was get heart, and go iinto the deep dark pit and he heart me once and that heart. 

June 8, 1988

 Yesterday I went to the pool because I'm on the Dascus swim team. There name is th edolphons. Out coaches name is Erick. He is very nice. I get a goody bag for swimming the fastest in free stile. I have time triles on Saturday. I have meats on Sunday.

June 6, 1988

 On Sat. we won our soccer game. The score was four to two. Once Mr. Parken took me and Brendon and Mark out and left Terense as goaly, they started playing ruff. But when the scored the second goal Mr. Parken put me Brendon and Mark in we started coming back. We started coming bauck.

June 3, 1988

 Yesturday my brother and his friend stuffed my skwortgun at the top where the water squarts out. They stuffed it with tar. now it won't squart. My brother got a new gun. So I'm going to clog his up.

June 1, 1988

 My favrite game is what I play out at recess. i always play it. I'm on the team. Alex plays it also. It is soccer. It's a fun sport.

May 31, 1988

 Over the week-end I went to my mom's parent. My brother got a new fishing rod. My dad got a new golph bag. I got a new tackle box and my dad's old golph bag. I had a great time.

May 27, 1988

 My sister has bean sick for the last few days. i was kind glad, because she still had Mario bros. But my mom had to it back to the person how owned it. His name was Derick. My friend said it was his. I don't know how to go with.

May 25, 1988

 Yesterday my sister brought home a computer game. I played it about 75 times. It is called Mario Bros. Bros stands for brothers.

May 23, 1988

 On Sunday I went fishing. I was very fun. I caught 8eight fish. My dad caught zero fish. When we went it was so foggy. But the sun came out. One of my fish was a keeper. one that I caught was like a gold fish. i caught blue gills and one bass. I got hooked twice. I heart.

May 19, 1988

 My favrite part was when Ralph went speeding around the thread bare carpet. I thought he looked funny. Ofcorse Ralph likes speed.

May 18, 1988

Yesterday I got on the top of my house. I brang up water ballons also. So that I could bome my brother. Buy when my mom came out. I bomed her with a balloon . As soon as I relised I bomed my mom I ran down the other side of the top of the house and jumped to the backyard. Jus in time too. Then my mom called me. I said what? I thought I was in trouble.

May 16, 1988

 On Sat. we had our soccer game. We won. The score was two to nothing. The people how scored were Nichalis Morkin and Brendon Kennedy.

May 13, 1988

 Just yesterday I relised I was double gointed. I'm double gointed in my finers and my ears. The fingers is the code sine in Star Treck.

May 10, 1988

 My favorite color is blue. Because the color of the blue birds are blue and blue birds are my favorite. Also because my bird is blue.

May 9, 1988

 Yesterday my brother and I found a way to the top of our shed. It was so much fun. He almost fell down. I was scared like anything when he did that.